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forever
等级:Senior
文章:384
积分:3400
门派:张家港
注册:2008-2-29 21:58:10 |
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创造性 Creative (1)创造性 Creative
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.
I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.
创造性
第一次求职时,我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时,得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时,我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我得到了那份工作。
我没有提到那门功课我重复学了三年才考及格。
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(2)CD Player
While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, "What does ‘hybrid pulse D/A converter‘ mean?"
"That means," she said, "that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music."
"In other words this CD player plays CDs."
"Exactly."
CD唱机
在购买我的第一部CD唱机时,我能够解读推销标记上面的大多数技术语言。但是有一个标示却让我颇为迷惑,于是我叫过销售商,问道:“‘混合脉冲D/A变换器’是什么意思?”
“它的意思是,”她说,“这个机器能够读CD碟上加码的数字信息,将它转换成声音信息-也就是说,转换成音乐。”
“换句话说,这个CD唱机能够播放CD碟。”
“正是如此。”
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(3)How Did You Ever Get Here
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
你是怎样来的?
一个冬天的早晨,一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了,我每向前迈一步,就要向后退两步。”
老板狐疑地看着他。“噢,是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”
“后来我决定放弃,”他说,“然后我就往家里走。”
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(4)I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when women‘s dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can‘t you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
我要表现得象位女士
一天,远东百货公司的女装大减价,一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是,没过多久,他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。
他竭力忍耐着。后来,他低下头,挥动双臂,挤过人群。
“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道,“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗?”
“听着,”他说,“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起,我要表现得象个女士。”
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(5)How Much Is It?
It was winter, and Mrs. Hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was Saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to pay for everything and to carry her parcels. They went to a lot of shops, and Mrs. Hermann bought a lot of things. She often stopped and said, "Look, Joe! Isn‘t that beautiful!"
He then answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?" and took his money out to pay for it.
It was dark when they came out of the last shop, and Mr. Hermann was tired and thinking about other things, like a nice drink by the side of a warm fire at home. Suddenly his wife looked up at the sky and said, "Look at that beautiful moon, Joe!"
Without stopping, Mr. Hermann answered, "All right, dear, How much is it?"
多少钱?
严冬来临,荷曼太太想采购一大批东西,所以她就一直等到周六丈夫有空的时候,她拖着他去商店付钱连带拎包裹。他们去了许多商店,荷曼太太买了一大堆东西。她经常停下脚步说道:“看,乔伊!那个多漂亮!”
他总是回答:“好吧!亲爱的,多少钱?”然后掏钱去付款。
他们从最后一家商店出来的时候夜幕已经降临,荷曼先生已精疲力尽了。他心里想着其它事情,比如在家里暖暖的火炉边呷口美酒。突然他太太仰望天空,说道:“看那月亮多美,乔伊!”
荷曼先生不加思索答道:“好吧,亲爱的,多少钱?”
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(6)Three Whistles
I promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday, but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked, I let out a long, low whistle. "And how much are they then?" I asked, pointing to another tray.
"You, sir," replied the jeweler, "about three whistles."
三声口哨
我答应过我的女朋友过生日进送她一条金项链。可是当珠宝商报出我们看中的那条项链的价格时,我低低地打了个长口哨。“那这条项链多少钱呢?”我指着另一个盘子里的项链问。
“先生,对你来说,”珠宝商答道,“大约值三声口哨。”
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(7)林肯过生日 Great Event
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
老师:1809年发生了什么重大事件?
小威利:亚伯拉罕-林肯诞生。
老师:正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢?
小威利:亚伯拉罕-林肯过他的三周岁生日。
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(8)What‘s your name?
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:"My name is Stone,and I‘m even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there‘ll be trouble.Don‘t try any tricks with me ,and then we‘ll get on well together"
Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name."Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,"He said,"and don‘t forget to call me ‘sir‘".
Each soldier told him his name,unitl he came to the last one.This man remained silent,and so Captain Stone shouted at him,"When I ask you a question,answer it!I‘ll ask you again:What‘s you name,soldier?"
The soldier was very unhappy,but at last he replied."My name is Stonebreaker,sir"he said nervously.
你叫什么名字?
有一位很严厉的军官在对一群交由他训练的新兵训话。他以前从没见过这群新兵,于是他开始自我介绍:“我的名字叫Stone(石头),事实上,我甚至比石头更强硬。这就是我为什么要告诉你们我名字的原因。不要试图对我玩什么花招,这样我们就能很好相处了。”
接着他开始走到每个士兵前面问他们的名字。“说大声点,让每个人都能听清楚。另外,不要忘记称呼我为长官。”他说。
每个士兵都对他说了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前时,这个士兵保持着沉默。于是Stone队长对他喊叫,“当我问你问题的时候,要回答!我再问一遍,你的名字,士兵?”
那个新兵很不高兴,但最后他回答了。“我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石机),长官。”他紧张的说。
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(9)The Same Duties
A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you‘ll catch on again fast."
Next morning promptly at eight o‘clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general‘s bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer‘s wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it‘s back to the village for you."
相同的职责
一个退休的四星级将军在曼哈顿的一个酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤务兵,勤务兵也退休在家。这位将军花了一整个晚上的时间来说服他回来做他的贴身随从。“你的职责与在军队时完全一样,”将军说,“这没什么,你很快就会再次理解它的。”
第二天早晨八点钟时,前勤务兵迅速地进到前将军的卧室,拉开窗帘,轻轻地摇了摇将军,然后大步走到床的另一侧,在他雇主的妻子屁股上拍了一下,说道:“好了,甜心,你该回到村庄去了。”
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(10)Early Shopper
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That‘s no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
采购过早
那天是圣诞节,法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。
“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。
“这不算犯法,”法官回答,“你购物多早?”
在商店开门之前,“犯人应道。
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君子之过也,如日月之食也,过也,人皆见之;更也,人皆仰之! |
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